Heaps of Ashes

“He predestined us to be adopted as sons through Jesus Christ for himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace that he lavished on us in the Beloved One.” (Ephesians 1:5-6 CSB)

Often, when people hear our story of infertility, expensive failed treatments, heartache, and eventual adoption of a sibling group from the Foster Care System, their response is: “Wow! Instant family.” *

[I’ll let you in on a little secret. My husband and I can be found quoting Mandy Patinkin in a full-on Inigo Montoya voice: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” (Yes, this is indeed a blatant reference to The Princess Bride.) Instant family is the opposite of the path we climbed to reach parenthood.]

As adoptive parents of kids from traumatic beginnings, we often wondered if we would always live in the shadow of their family of origin.

Our son remembers being forcefully yanked from his mother’s arms by strangers and faithfully believed for a long time that it was his fault because he "told."

One daughter has seen things from which many adults would quickly turn away.

One has a skewed understanding of “mom” because she had at least four different "moms" in the first three years of her life.

BUT GOD...

He saw these little ones who desperately needed us. He saw that we desperately wanted to love them. So, he brought us together in an absolute mess of emotions and brokenness; a heap of ashes.

He made us a family.

There are moments when I step back from daily life and take inventory of where we once were, where we are now, and where we one day hope to be. In those precious moments, I can't help remembering that we are all adopted into God’s family through Jesus Christ.

We desperately needed a savior, and He desperately wanted to save us.

After a little more than 11 years of being their mom, despite struggles and failures, there have also been celebrations, laughter, real joy; I can't help smiling.

I don't deserve their love and affection any more than I deserve God's love and affection. Still, I have it.

I love my kids so much.

Love.

Love.

Love.

I love that I get to be their mom.

Our family is beautiful.

They are all three beautiful creations who will undoubtedly be used by God, our only perfect parent.

Life outside of heaven leaves all of us messed up and broken in one way or another. BUT GOD, through Jesus Christ, is in the business of taking what seems irreparable and making it beautiful.

“The Spirit of the Lord God is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and freedom to the prisoners; to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of our God’s vengeance; to comfort all who mourn, to provide for those who mourn in Zion; to give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, festive oil instead of mourning, and splendid clothes instead of despair. And they will be called righteous trees, planted by the Lord to glorify him.” (Isaiah 61:1-3 CSB)

Can’t see any beauty today? I invite you to ask our Adoptive Father to help you see things from his perspective. Ask him to let you see yourself from his perspective.

*That was long before the movie with the same name.