The Adoption Triad, the image of a triangle and heart intertwined, has become a popular
representation of the growing of a family through adoption. The Adoptee, the Biological parents, and the Adoptive parents each represent one side of the triangle while the heart is what binds them together. Naturally, the mind will go to the idyllic images. A young, unwed mother, who loves the child growing inside her and recognizes her inability to raise the child well, entrusts her child to the couple of her choosing. The heart represents her sacrificial love and the promise of love by the adoptive parents.
While my husband and I were waiting to be matched with children in Foster Care, who needed a new forever family, we would pray together each night that God, who already knew the outcome, would prepare our hearts for trauma parenting. We would pray that our future children experienced the presence of the Spirit throughout their transition.
In some ways it seemed unfair to pray for God to give me "someone else's children." After all, in order for me to be a mother, that meant someone would be stripped of her rights to raise her own children. It meant tragedy on every side and the first woman my children called "Mom" would not disappear the way her parental rights had. She is a part of them, and always will be. Sometimes, admittedly, I'm jealous. But over the years I have trained myself to welcome, even invite my kiddos to think about her, talk about her, and pray for her.
For my family, the Adoption Triad has a slightly different "spin." One side of the triangle for three beautiful children, one side for us as adoptive parents, and one side for the woman who will always be a part of us (good or bad). It is really tough some days but as long as the heart that intertwines our family triad represents Christ as our source for life, we can be confident that he has us all close to his heart.